Hey guys! A fellow Rebelutionary teen, the wonderful Nathan Tasker, has done a post series on Relationships, covering things like dating, courtship, marriage, and purity. They are SO GOOD!!! Honestly, I can't praise them enough. I really wanted you guys to be able to read and glean from them, so I though I'd post the links here. Have fun reading them! (And be sure to leave a comment letting him know you enjoyed them!)
Part 1// The Purpose of Marriage
Part 2// Husbands and Wives
Part 3// Let's Talk about Dating
Part 4// The 'How' of Courtship (Personally, I LOVED this post. Getting towards the older end of my teen years, questions about courtship etc become more important. And it was especially cool since my parents and I had been having a talk about a guy going to the girl's dad first, and Nathan offered a really cool perspective on that.)
Part 5// The Heart of the Matter (If you read any post out of the 6, make it this one! I think we can get caught up in the ideal of 'getting ready for marriage' or the idea of 'not being ready for marriage' that we forget what getting ready looks like. And this is what Nathan addresses! Plus it's focus is strongly on 'holistic' purity (all of you, not just physical), which is awesome.)
Part 6// Now What? (A short, sweet, and practical conclusion to the series.)
Go check them out guys!
Cassie xoxoxo
Whats your general thoughts about relationships in high school (yr12) where the guy is a Christian and serious about the relationship? Like marriage down the track serious. We're like best friends now, and he's a very different guy to most this age
ReplyDeleteHmm, good question. I feel like I might be able to answer it more effectively via email. If you're comfortable with it, my email address is in the 'Contact Me' page on the sidebar. But if you're not (which is totally OK, I understand!) just reply and let me know, and I'll do my best to answer here. :)
DeleteBlessings,
Cassie
yeah maybe just on here
DeleteAll good!
DeleteSo, what are my thoughts? Well, really my answer would depend on many different factors, which I'll get to in a second, but I guess the overall answer I would give depends on your answer to a question: are you ready to begin pursuing marriage? Are you ready to get married? If yes, I have no general question against a relationship. If no, I would think a relationship just now is a bad idea. Take me for example. My answer to that question is 'no way!' I am not emotionally mature enough, dependant enough on God, or sacrificial enough to get married. So, there is no point in me dating.
Then there's the specific factors I referred to. These are very important. I'll go through a few of them, referring back to things you said in your question.
"The guy is a Christian." Awesome!! But he needs a lot more than just a claim on salvation. His entire life needs to revolve around God. He needs to be seeking Him every day, pursing Him actively and earnestly. He needs to be living life totally to glorify Christ and obey Him. If he's like that, that's SO fantastic! But if not, I'd question whether a relationship is a good idea. Also, are you a Christian? Are you living like the above?
"Like marriage down the track serious." So good to hear he and you are both thinking ahead! Just to clarify though, is it a 'yeh we might get married in a few years' thing or is it 'this is a deliberate relationship with the goal of determining if we are compatible for marriage' thing?
"We're best friends now." Yay! One thing I always ask is if two people wanting a relationship are good friends, so sounds like you've got that down! :)
Also, I'd recommend taking a good hard look at *why* you want this relationship. There are many good reasons to have one. But too often people get into relationships for things that are not good foundations to have. Things like wanting someone tangible to satisfy their love needs, the 'security' it brings, the simple fact that someone actually takes an interest in them, because they've been feeling hopeless or down and this is something that perks them up and gives them hope, etc.
Wow, that was a long comment! I'd really love to hear your thoughts. I can also recommend some great books to read on the subject if you'd like.
And thanks for the question!
Cassie xoxoxo
I'm not gonna get married in the next little while, still gotta finish yr12 haha. He's not either, like we're still pretty young haha.
ReplyDeleteHe is a fairly new Christian, but has grown so much and is trying wholeheartedly. A point that he made (we've talked about this haha) is that we could grow together...I've been a Christian for as long as I can remember. Still have a long way to go though...so yeah.
It would be a deliberate relationship, with our (well mine, he's are divorced and that) parents approval and that.
haha yeah we talk about almost everything
Yeah ok will think about it.
Haha no it was good. thanks. I've read a couple...doesn't always help tho haha
Can I just say, it's SO refreshing seeing a fellow teen willing to take a good look at this stuff and actually think about a good course of action instead of just following whatever whim they want. :) Keep thinking hard and submitting it all to God, my friend, and I'm sure He will show you the way.
DeleteSomething I just thought of today: if a relationship is to be top quality, it MUST be founded on Christ. And to have a solid foundation of Christ, it must be a combination of two individual's strong relationship with Christ combining. If one or both of the individuals' foundation on Christ is thin simply because it hasn't had time to grow, or weak, the relationship's foundation is going to be compromised.
That may or may not apply to you guys (I was actually thinking of it while contemplating a situation one of my friends is in atm). Just thought I'd put it out there.
Blessings, Cassie
It's sad how many just go with relationships just because. Yeah...big neon sign would be nice but probs not gonna be that simple haha
DeleteMmm...would be something that we'd have to be very careful with. But thanks =)
Haha yeh it would be! :P
Delete