Is that what I really want?

Photo credit: Sam Caplat and Flickr Creative Commons

I want to get married.

Or do I?

Sure, it'd be nice. I'd have tangible love. I'd be treated like a princess. I'd be honoured and served and romanced and loved like crazy. 

But hang on a second. That's not really what marriage is about, is it?

Why do we look at the romance side and neglect the pure hard work it takes? We read the sentence above and love the idea, all the while forgetting that we have to love unconditionally, treat someone specially, honour, serve, and romance our husband! We forget that we have to give too! Good gosh peoples, let's face it - this is gonna be hard work! And I'd venture to say quite a bit harder than if we were single! 

Do I really want that? Do I really want to throw myself into the crazy effort it will be to cultivate a relationship? I'm not saying it's not worth the trouble, but let's be realistic here! 

Is marriage what I really want? It's hard to face that question. I'm not sure I have an answer. I know marriage can be very much worth it. But it's not easy! So I guess we'll just have to wait and see. 

Cassie xoxox

(P.S. No, this is not one of the posts I announced recently. Those are still in the works. I should have one out soon hopefully!)

Info tidbit

Hey guys! Just thought I'd let you know that I've got a full-on blog post series in the works, hence the lack of posts for a week or so. Depending on... a few things, I may post something else before them, we'll see. But look forward to them! I'm very excited. :)


Cassie xoxoxo

Lonely, But Not Alone

Photo credit: Jaume Escofet

I am so lonely.

You wouldn't think it from my email contact list - it's very full. But nevertheless, my heart is aching from the emptiness. I long for intimate friendships, for people who open wide their hearts and take the time to pour into my soul, and let me pour into theirs. Who will make time for me in their life and room for me in their hearts.

And you know what? That's OK. God created us for communion with each other, and so it's only natural for me to feel lonely when deprived of close and constant friendships. It's not some sort of spiritual weakness.

What would be not OK is if I believed the simple, subtle lie that I am awfully tempted to believe in this time: you're alone.

But that is not true. Oh, praise God it isn't! God is here with me, always with me!! And this is what I've come to know deeper during this season of loneliness. There have been many times I've fallen to my knees in joy and worship as the reality of God's nearness and comfort sweeps over me.

You rescued me and I believe

that God is Love and He is all I need,

from this day forward, for all eternity.

I'll never wander on my own, 

for I am Yours until You call me home.

I close my eyes and I can hear You say

"You're not alone."

~ Owl City, You're Not Alone'

I'm not alone. I'm not alone.



Cassie xoxoxo

Why I Don't Have Instagram

Ah, Instagram.

As the title suggests, I don't have it. That doesn't mean I don't use it though. I do look at the pictures of my friends. Some have jokingly protested that I should just get Insta, so it looks less like stalking. Fair enough. *cough* Entirely *cough* false, though. I would *cough* never stalk. *cough cough* :P Anyway, despite the 'pressures,' I do have my reasons for not having Insta. Here they are.

1. I'm distracted enough already. No, I don't have Insta. Or Facebook. Or Twitter. But I have email. And what I 'Christian Facebook' - Revive. And I follow a few dozen blogs. And so on. Honestly, I struggle enough with distractions, and I know me well enough to know that getting Insta would only lead to further distractions. And I consume enough media already without adding something else potentially harmful and unnecessary, at least just yet. 
2. It would encourage my pride and selfishness. First thing I have to say is, this is just about me! I'm NOT commending anyone here. That aside, I am going to say, I think that having Instagram would bolster my pride and selfishness, the very things I struggle daily with. It would... highlight my achievements, my beauty, my skills, my life, my ministry. Sure, I'd caption with the obligatory Bible verses and praise God, but I think deep in my heart it would foster me-centredness. I don't want that. Honestly, I've got enough to worry about without adding to struggles.
3. I don't have an iPhone. This is an entirely practical point. I don't have an smartphone, or even an iPod touch any more. And there's not much insta about downloading pics from my DSLR, editing them, and then posting them from my computer. I'd do that, sure, but if I got it I'd like to be able to actually post things like grainy campfire shots and the crazy sign I saw and my messy desk. Etc.

Gosh, this was meant to be a light-hearted post, and I feel like I've turned it into a school assignment on persuasive writing. :/ Honestly, I'm not trying to persuade anyone. If I do, cool, but I'm also cool with others choosing to use Insta! And I'll probably get it at some point. (Maybe when I travel Europe - jks, I wish. :P) I just don't need it yet. I don't want it yet, and there are reasons behind that. And there let the issue lie for now. :P 

Cassie xoxoxo