**Most of this blog is for girls only! Any boys, please only read the posts linked to in the "For Boys" page on the sidebar. Thank you.**

Thursday, 14 June 2012

Attraction vs. Crushes


OK, here it is! My views on attraction vs. crushes! Thank so much guys for sharing! Made me think, for one! (
So, if any of you were slightly confused, I want to clear something up. In my pages and post, I speak out strongly against crushes. But I'd like to say that there is a distinction between crushes and attraction to someone (I think we all agreed that there was). I will elaborate, but first let me say that this is only how I deffine attraction/crushes. There are many other ways of thinking about the distinction. And I'm not trying to say that my views are necesarily correct! (I will state it as a definite, but you may think differently.) It's just my oppinion!
In a crush, you are consumed. You give away a piece of your heart, fantasize about 'him' - really, you idolise that person. Basically, your life somehow starts orientating around that person (he's the one you dress to please, he's the one you dream about etc, etc). And that is not good.

However, I have no problem with attraction, as long as it does not consume or control you (which equals a crush). If you are attracted to someone, you find them appealing. It's someting slightly more than 'normal.' For example, I have a totally 'normal' friendship with the boys in my street, but I still feel attracted to the guy I had a crush on (and other boys). Sure, I don't dress to please him anymore, but there's still something there that's different to 'normal.'
Attraction to a certain person is completely normal and natural. It's part of your nature. In fact, without attraction, it would be very hard to get married! (if and when you are ready, of course).


Cassie xoxoxo

11 comments:

  1. THIS is so true. you've summed up what i was trying to awkwardly say in my comment! :)

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  2. I agree about the attraction part, but I'm still not sure whether or not I agree with the crushes part. But, as I've said before we all have different views on different things! :)

    I can see God shine through your life Cassie, you are truly an amazing person and I don't think I've seen many christian girls your age with that gift and relationship with God. :)

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    1. Ha cassie, it's kat, I totally agree, I see poeple fall over others and it's not good for them, you have a lot of maturity for you age :)

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  3. Hey Cassie

    I was interested in the 'thought life' post that showed up on my dashboard, but when I clicked on it it said 'Page dose not exist' are you editing it, or should it show up?

    ~Lauren

    P.s - Did you get my letter?

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  4. For info about the post about thought life that doesn't exist, look at the text at the top of my sidebar.

    Cassie xoxoxo

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  5. I know this is an older post, but I read it anyway! :-) This was a very good post, actually! I had never really thought it out that way, but there is truth in what you said. Good thought provoker! :-) (Love the last sentence and it’s add-on) :-)

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  6. Hey Cassie,

    Just looking at your thoughts and articles, it is truly awesome to see the insight God has put in you. Reading this post in particular, I would agree with most of what you have said, but I think there are somethings you may have missed.

    I know from personal experience how difficult it is to have a crush and be a christian at the same time. You start putting "that person" before anyone else (including God) and start to do anything and everything from eating and dressing to saying and doing with the thought "will he like me more if I do this" in your head. True, this is not a great state to be in, but as I have noticed, EVERYONE goes through it, even boys! Having "attractions" as you say is a VERY rare thing, and also as you have said, is often simply residue of an old crush. Now friendship, crushes and marriage are all from God, and God has control over each and every one, and while crushes aren't exactly fantastic, I found that the one I had built me as a person, as it strengthened my self-control, I grew closer to God (or fell away from God but came running back into a renewed relationship with Him) and closer to the wiser people in my life. God has a reason for giving you a crush, and how you respond to that is how He destined it to be from the Beginning. I know I'm not the person I was before I went through that difficult part of my life, since I was not a christian going into it, but became a christian going out!!!! God definitely used that wistful relationship to bring me to Himself.

    So, while I COMPLETELY agree that it is pointless, harmful and stupid to giggle and gossip about "her and him" and "him and me", I do believe that even crushes have a purpose. Rarely are we able to shut down an "attraction" before it becomes a crush, but the outcomes of that are in God's beautiful hands. I would encourage people by reminding them of their future husbands. One day he's going to turn up, and won't it be wonderful to pour out on him everything you ever wished you could pour out on your girly crushes, and won't it be tragic if you had nothing left to give, but the dregs of a long lost purity given to someone else!
    No, it's not easy, but it is natural. Just another thing the devil throws at us for bad, and our Saviour turns into good.

    Be strong! He loves all of His daughters, and is desparate for the ones that are lost in their idols. Look to Him!!!

    Annie xoxo

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  7. Thanks so much guys for your comments! Made me think! I leave it up to you to decide on your views.

    Cassie xoxoxo

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  8. Wow I just want to say that if i wrote a comment hear it would be the exact same as Annie's! But i just couldn't get it out right!

    Great topic of discustion! Actually I am writing a post myself about this, Cassie. :)

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