Ways my Mum can improve

{Credit to Flickr Creative Commons and Fabienne Wassermann}

My Mum sometimes asks me if there's anything she can do to be a better mother to us kids. Usually, I can't think of anything off the top of my head. But her birthday's coming up around this time of year, and so I thought I'd put in some effort to think of ways she can improve as her birthday present. So here goes: ways my mother can improve.

1. Stop disciplining us. Let's get this straight, Mum - it hurts when you discipline us. Only a sadist would want to bring temporary discomfort to anyone. I can only believe you don't know that discipline of all kinds is uncomfortable, or you wouldn't do it. Sheesh, Mum, anyone would think you thought it was worth it because it leads to good results in the end!
   
2. Enough with the life advice. Life is meant to be lived. That means mistakes sometimes. I don't need you giving me bucket-loads of advice so I can avoid some of them. Emotions, relationships, what my future should look like, etc - I can navigate them on my own, thanks. Some would argue that your advice helps me live life to the fullest, avoid negative consequences, have peace and joy... But really Mum? Cummon.
   
3. I don't need you creating opportunities for me. I know you spend hours and hours of work to open doors and give me 'great experiences.' You've figured out how I could get into Uni most easily, if I want to. You've gotten me into special courses for this year's school. You've asked me if I wanted to a photography workshop, or a pottery workshop, and a myriad of other things. That's nice and all, but don't you think I can do all that for myself? I don't really need you taking that load off my plate to allow me some margin in my crazy schedule. I can create my own opportunities, open my own doors. Besides, why don't we just let things happen? And if they don't, well, that's too bad.
   
4. Start pushing me in one direction. You've made a point of allowing me to discover my strengths and weaknesses and exploring how I could use them in the future in a variety of ways. You're OK if I go to Uni; you're easy if I don't. You want me to 'be happy,' do what I love. Honestly, Mum, that can be frustrating. I wish you would just push me in a certain direction, pressure me into something. It would be easier for me than trying to figure out what I really want to do.
   
5. No more stewardship lessons. I'm tired of hearing (or seeing from you and Dad) how I should be wise with money - 'God's money,' no less. I shouldn't have to be able to 'justify' ever expense I make. I want to do what I want with the money I have.  So quit drilling into me by lesson and example how I should steward it well.
   
6. Don't worry about my spiritual life. You want to see me grow. You want me to have the joy that comes from a close relationship with Christ. You're always asking me how my walk with God is going, and praying for me. I'd rather you not. What's between me and God is between me and God. 

There you have it, Mum. Here's six ways you can improve. Happy birthday. 

Love, Cassie.

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Well. If you haven't already guessed, this is written in utter sarcasm. If you look hard enough, you can pick out what I'm really saying. 

Mum: THANKS. Thanks for doing all those things I've just pretended to dis you for. Happy birthday. I love you. 

All you other readers: I could have just printed this to show Mum. But I wanted to post it here, because I want to make you think (wow, how unusual! :P). What does your Mum do for you? How does she serve you? Bless you? Why don't you tell her how much you appreciate her - be it her birthday or unbirthday. 

Cassie xoxoxo