The Specifics // Part 2
- Be willing to listen and learn from God. Trust me on this one: God has something to teach you every time you fight off liking a guy. I literally have a list on my iPod titled "Things God has taught me through my boy struggles." Items include 'that I need to give those thoughts to God,' 'God has such an amazing man in store for me,' 'telling parents helps so much,' 'I must treat and encourage all the Body equally' and 'friends is best and [sometimes] hardest.' There is a lesson with ever struggle. I've learnt to keep my ears open to God when I'm faced with trying not to like a guy. They're such growing seasons, no matter how hard and frustrating. Be willing to listen and learn from God.
- Be willing to listen and learn from others. My mum reminds me that I'm too young to think about a life partner (yeh, I know, duh. But a good kick of blatant logic does help sometimes). My friend reminds me of the importance of Scripture in our daily battle. And if you have a friend who you know thinks the same way about this stuff, and maybe has more experience to boot, go ask for help!*
- Choose to focus on others. When you focus on others and serve them, that's letting God work through you to be a blessing. It's forcing your mind away from your wants, your desires, you yearnings, you obsessions. Seek out ways to encourage others. Give of yourself. Treat others like you feel like treating that boy. Looking actively for how to bless others is a powerful weapon against obsession!
- Look for the big picture. The here and now isn't everything! What will you think looking back on this in ten years time? What happens when you slowly (or suddenly) come to realise that he's actually not that like-worthy? Looking at the big picture relieves some of the pressure of the right-now. It puts things into perspective.
- Don't give up! I've fought off liking guys for a few weeks. I've fought off liking guys for a few months. There are guys I've been attracted to for years and still have to wrestle my mind off sometimes. Sometimes I do feel like giving up (that happened recently). But in the end, the fight to glorify God instead of boys in your life is worth it. You learn things. You grow. You become the person you will be next month, next year. You realise afresh how great our God is, and why His is worthy of our whole heart and mind. And be encouraged: when God started teaching me this stuff, it took years for me to get a hang of. But now, more than 5 years later, I find it way, WAY easier to identify and combat a potential crush. When God started teaching me this stuff, I could go minutes before catching myself thinking romantic thoughts. Now, I mostly catch a thought like that almost before it fully forms, and certainly within a few seconds. When God started teaching me this stuff, I wouldn't realise I was attracted until I was deep in. Now, I can identify any out-of-the-ordinary emotions very quickly, keep tabs on them and be ready to swing my defences into action if I realise it's getting beyond the realm of attraction or admiration. So don't give up! Keep relying on God for everything, and you'll get there, whether it be in a few days or a few months.
I hope these posts show you some helpful things. Please comment and let me know what you think, or what tips you have!
Cassie xoxoxo
*And hey, if you want to shoot me an email and ask me, go ahead!
I think this series has been full of good ideas. They may be frustrating for someone just starting out on the journey of taking your thoughts captive to Jesus - no quick fixes unfortunately - but there is a lot of wisdom here and it was encouraging to learn that you find it much easier now, even though it was such hard work at the start. I hope that encourages others, too. And from someone older, this is good advice, 'cos you can need it even after you marry Mr Perfect. Attraction can still hit you even when you are happily married and you need to have these habits in place so you don't feed those thoughts and grow them into something that could sabotage your marriage.
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