Daily Dignity: Reactions

The this day's post is about dignified reactions. To negative things that come our way.

 It's a fact: sometimes, life gives us lemons. And it's how we respond to those lemons that counts. (Well, and what we do with the lemons. Hint: take them to Jesus... he can make really good lemonade!) OK, seriously, how can we react in a dignified manner when bad things come our way?

 First of all, I want to establish a few things:

1. IT'S OK TO CRY!!!!!!!! Crying is not against dignity. It's scientifically established that the chemicals in the tears you cry in response to strong emotion literally make you feel better! God made tears to help us. So if you need to, you can let them out. 
2. The 'bad things' I'm talking about are, on the scale of things, little. Things like being told you can't go to a party you really, really wanted to go to. Or (as bad as it may seem) having to endure another dance class where the teacher is not all that sweet. The kind of stuff we can respond badly to without even thinking 'what am I doing this for?' For worse stuff (like moving city or losing a loved one), I think you know how to respond anyway. Those kinds of 'bad' aren't stuff you chuck a mindless fit about.
3. It's the 'good, better, best' thing again. Our reactions to these bad things are pretty low on the scale of 'problems we need to work on.' (It may be higher for some, I don't know. If you're one of those, that's no reason to feel guilty or 'less good' than the rest.) I'm just picking things where sometimes (or often) we do not display dignity.

 Now I'm going to list some bad reactions - things we should NOT do in response to bad things: (Some of these I put in just for fun. :P Some you may do.)

• Chuck a fit. Scream, fling yourself on the floor and kick your legs.
• Give the 'silent treatment.' 
• Glare hard for the rest of the day.
• Roll your eyes often.
• Sulk in your room and refuse to come out.
• Generally sulk.
• Let everyone know how disappointed, frustrated, or {inset emotion} you are by sighing every other minute.
• Let everyone know how disappointed, frustrated or {inset emotion} you are by complaining almost non-stop.
• Gossip about your/the 'stupid {insert item or person}' to everyone you meet. 
• Dwell on (think about) your/the 'stupid {insert item or person}' for hours.
• Be obstinate and grouchy all day.
• Get angry and yell at siblings etc.
• Plead and whine.
• {Insert your own}.

 Getting the picture? Do you think these display dignity? The *very* obvious answer is NO! So what do you think does? Here's some ideas on how to display dignity when disappointed, angry, frustrated, or simply sad:

• Take a deep breath. Not to scream, to calm down. It helps.
• Pray. Take it to Jesus. He cares about how you're feeling.
• Bite your tongue. It's tempting to yell, or gossip, or whine. But that won't help. And it's not dignified. I'm sure you know that already. 
• Take a break. That is, if you need to and if you can. Chill for a bit.
• Clear your head. Don't dwell on the matter. Do the necessary thinking, but don't go over and over it. It'll make it worse, and make you more likely to let your built-up feelings out in a not-so-dignified manner. (Philippians 4:8: "whatever is true, whatever is noble.... think about such things." )
• Talk to someone. Often, it's enough to leave it with God. But sometimes we need to talk to a person your feelings may be directed at. That's a dignified response. DON'T gossip to others who are not involved, just talk to the person who was involved. Make sure you have calmed down a bit, though, and are out of the heat of the moment.
• Let Jesus make lemonade! God can bring about good from bad situations. You can be blessed even if you are feeling not-so-good. Look for ways to be a blessing to others, too. Maybe since you can't go to that party you can read to your little brother? Remember, "In all things God works for the good of those who love Him." (Romans 8:28.)

 A good rule of thumb is just to ask yourself, "is this a dignified, Godly response to what is happening?" Let's make sure we're displaying dignity in our reactions to bad things that happen.

Cassie xoxoxo

Daily Dignity: Posture

 Hey guys! A new topic today: posture/movement. (Are your brows creasing?) You may have never thought of it, but the position of your body does relate to dignity (and modesty, by the way).

 Let's think about it for a minute: is draping yourself carelessly over a bench with your hips at a funny angle dignified? Is bending at the waist only so that your backside {ah-hem} protrudes dignified? Is strutting? Is sitting haphazardly? I do not think so.

 Let's go back to the princess analogy. Take the questions above and try to imagine that princess doing those things. Can you? Does she look like a princess any more? Or more like a typical teenage slouch? Do you reckon she would win the admiration and respect of the nobles if she acted  and looked like that? The answer is obvious: a lady-like princess would not place her body carelessly. And we also need to display dignity in our posture and movement. Here's some suggestions for doing so:

1. Don't drape yourself. This is hard to explain. Basically don't lean over something sloppily. A common 'draped' position is leaning your torso over a table/bench, with your chin resting in your hand/s. If standing, it is often accompanied by the hips being tilted. If sitting, it is often made worse by leaning to one side. 'Draped' posture is NOT dignified or modest.
2. Don't sit on the ground with your legs stretched open in a 'V.' Legs together is OK, but not open.
3. Don't bend at the waist only. You know the look this creates. Not dignified. Or modest. It's even worse if your top rides up. If you need to bend to reach something, bend at the knees and keep the back straight. If it's on the floor, crouch with your back upright. Or kneel down. It's far more dignified than carelessly bending at the waist. And more modest by a long shot.
4. Try to stretch discreetly. I don't deny the fact that sometimes our backs get little stiff and we need to stretch. But bending straight back or over (especially at the waist) or throwing the shoulders and arms back does not display dignity. It displays carelessness. It's better to discreetly twist your torso, keeping your arms forward. If you need to bend forwards to stretch, bend at the knees as well, just like you're picking something up from the ground. If you want to bend backwards, preferably move away from other people so as not to unintentionally draw attention to yourself.
5. Walk with dignity. You don't have to be conscious of your every step, but be careful if you have a tendency to strut or walk sloppily. Carrying yourself with gracefulness is key to being dignified. Once upon a time, ladies walked with lovely posture and dignity. They valued how the body was carried. Our bodies are, after all, a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19).
6. Sit or stand with poise. Sitting or standing sloppily is not dignified. It is careless. It conveys lack of value for others, your body and what you are doing. Sitting or standing with poise, on the other hand, conveys attentiveness and value for the above. 
7. Don't slouch. (Part of #6.)

 I'd like to point out that, while we should have a habit of retaining dignity in our posture, it's often OK not be completely dignified while by ourselves. For example, it's fine to flop yourself onto your bed when you need a break. Or take a good stretch when you're alone. Some things, however, it's simply good to get in the habit of doing, and so doing them when you're alone is a good idea. One of these, I find, is crouching instead of bending at the waist. 

 Again, it's hard work to conquer these things. I know I fail often. (Trust me, I straightened up a dozen or so times just writing this post!)  But the Lord will honour your striving if you do it in His power. 1 Corinthians 1:8-9 says: "He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful."

 Maybe you think I'm too strict. If so, I apologise. I really don't want people being uptight or paranoid about these things.  It's the 'good, better, best' thing. Are you sinning by slouching? No. Is slouching the most important thing to work on in your daily life? Maybe, but probably not. Given a choice between slouching and sitting straight, should you sit straight? Yes. 
 Some of my post are about more urgent or 'bigger' problems, some are about 'little' things that we can improve. I simply want to bring to mind these subjects and give some practical tips or solutions. It's up to you to evaluate what you read and decide whether you should follow my advice.

Much love in Christ,

Cassie xoxox


 P.S. If you want to explore subject of posture more, or if you want to know what influenced my thoughts on this topic, check out this link: http://www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey/browse. (Just a warning: it's probably best to get your Mum to look at this first if you are under 18.) If you're allowed to have a look, click the posture/movement section and check out the responses from guys to the statements. It was from reading this (and "The Lost Art of True Beauty" by Leslie Ludy) that I came to realise that posture was reasonably important.

Daily Dignity: Speech {part 2}

 Here's part 2 (and some more suggestions).

1. Ask insightful questions. These are questions that go beyond the normal "How was your day?" and trivial "What is your favourite band?" questions. Insightful questions include:  "How's your walk with God going?" "What's God been doing in, through or around you?" "How can I pray for you?" "Is there anything that you're struggling with at the moment? (coupled with a request to pray with them)" "What are you looking forward to in the next year?" "What's your favourite holiday memory?" They can be anywhere (as shown) from spiritual questions to asking how a person is really, truly going, to not-quite-as-deep-but-still-not-trivial-chit-chat questions. Of course, it's not OK to ask something that would force a person to open up their most intimate secrets and struggles with you. It's also hard (not to mention awkward!) to ask deep questions straight after the "Hi, I'm Cassie, what's your name?" But maybe after knowing the person for a while you can begin the slightly-deeper-but-still-not-trivial-chit-chat questions. And the prayer request one is often good. (You can do that one with both Christians and non-Christians.)
2. Practice elegant speech. I've talked about this in my "Coarse talk: uh-uh" post and my "Modesty in Actions" post. I reckon you guys should get the gist of it by now. If not, or if you're new (yay!), this is basically what elegant speech is: (these points are from "The Lost Art of True Beauty.")
    1) Not using crude humour or comments.
    2) Not gossiping or belittling others with your words.
    3) Not using profanity.
    4) Not overusing filler words; words like 'stuff,' 'like' and 'really.' (This one is really hard to          get out of, but it cleans up our speech.)
    5) Not mumbling. As ambassadors for Christ, we shouldn't speak as though we're ashamed.
    6) Not talking to fast or rambling on and on.
    7) Not talking so loud that everyone is forced to listen to you.
    8) Keeping your heart guarded in your speech. We should make sure that we aren't revealing  every deepest, most personal secret, fear and struggle in our common conversation. While we need to make sure to ask insightful questions etc, we still need to guard the sacred parts of our hearts. It's also wise to be more cautious with guys. I'm not saying that we can't carry on a slightly deeper conversation with them, but we shouldn't tell them everything that we tell our female friends. 

 I know that that's a lot of things to work on, but I can tell you with certainty that you will be blessed for following them, and trying to exude dignity in every area of your life.

 There's also a message that I feel God wants me to give you. It relates to the result of you seeking to obey the Lord in every area of your life. (I wrote about it a bit in this post.) With me (and others, including God himself) bringing up things that I believe that we need to work on, it's easy to get discouraged. I know I do sometimes. But I believe that God wants to remind you that He is the one doing a transforming work in us; that if we listen and follow what He tells us to do, we will see change!. God whispered to my heart, "Tell them that I love them and will honour their striving." Romans 8:31 says, "What then shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us!" The song "You Raise Me Up" reminds us that that God "raises us up to more than we can be." Thanks be to God!

Your sister in Christ,
Cassie xoxoxo

Daily Dignity: Speech {part 1}

So we've had an overview on feminine dignity. Now for a specific topic: {inset drum roll.....} speech! This is a big area where we need to display dignity. (OK, before we go any further, I'm going to let you know that I'm going to use Leslie Ludy's points from her book, "The Lost Art of True Beauty." Because (1) THEY ARE SO GOOD and (2) it's what I'd say anyway. So basically, I give Leslie a lot of the credit. And I take no credit for the titles of the dot points. Of course, there are original thoughts in there too. Cause I can't just copy exactly what she says. Unfortunately. And because I want to add some things.) Now for the points. I believe that these are specific areas in which we can be dignified in our speech. I also admit that I fail at every one of these often. Of course I'm not perfect, and I sure need to work on these.

1. Carry on a good conversation. A beautifully dignified young woman does not mumble an answer to questions whilst looking at the floor. Instead, she looks the person speaking in the eye and gives a proper answer. With few exceptions, one-word replies do not count as answers. Can you see that lovely, feminine, dignified princess mumbling 'No' or 'Yes' to the nobles' questions, whilst studying the mosaic on the floor? Would she not lift her graceful head to give them a full and dignified answer?
    Also, we need to learn to pass the conversation back. Ask the person a question of your own. Don't force the other person to keep up an awkward, one-sided conversation. That is not dignified and beautiful.
2. Use positive body language. Looking someone in the eye, listening intently, not fiddling, sitting up straight etc all convey that you appreciate and acknowledge everything that the person is saying. Looking away absently, slouching, fiddling etc all convey boredom, nervousness and lack of value for what the person is saying. Oh, and I know that as girls we find it easy to multi-task, but we need to restrain from doing so when caring on a face-to-face conversation. When we multi-task we send the message that the person speaking is not worthy of our full attention. (Please note that sometimes we don't have to drop something to have a conversation, unless it's deep or pressing. If your friend starts a conversation when you're chopping the carrots for mum, for example, you don't have to stop. But make sure you still nod or look up occasionally to show that you're listening.) Make sure that your non-verbal signals are positive. Doing so helps show dignity and love.

Daily Dignity

 Hey folks! So, God gave me this really awesome idea for a post series. I'm calling it "Daily Dignity." I will be posting a shorter post every day for a week or so. In each post I'll write about a specific area where God wants us to showcase feminine dignity.

 Now, you may be thinking, "Dignity. Ah, yes, that means.... um.... er.... actually, what does it mean?" Which is quite reasonable, seeing as this word is not used very often in our vocabulary. Sadly. So anyway, I asked that question, and immediately thought, "maybe the Bible tells me what dignity is." A quick concordance-search and I came up with Proverbs 31:25a. Speaking about the Wife/Woman of Noble Character it says: "She is clothed with strength and dignity." Now I moved on to a Hebrew-word definition look-up. What I found there was quite interesting, and rather useful. Basically the Hebrew meaning is 'splendour or nobility; often related the appearance of something that is beautiful and instils awe.' I reckon that's pretty cool. Dignity is noble; it instils awe; it is beautiful; it is noticeable. You kind of get the picture of a fairytale princess: noble, graceful, loving, gentle, serene, awe-inspiring. How amazing.
 But before I go any further, I want to let you know that, unfortunately, the English decided many times that they only wanted one word for many things. And so, like the word love, the word dignity has come to mean various things. It can mean formal, composed and serious; or it can mean someone's honour or pride; or it can be used to translate that Hebrew word hadar (that's a close as I can get it with my English keyboard) whose meaning I've explained here and is so beautiful. This last meaning is what I mean from now on in this series.

 That's an overview on dignity. The next post will be about a specific area..... but I'm not going to tell you what it is!

Your sister in Christ,
Cassie xoxoxo

Encouragement

 It's a fact: we all love to be encouraged. It inspires, strengthens and/or brings joy. God designed encouragement to build us up and help us. But does God command us to encourage others? Are we just supposed to soak it all up... or give it out as well?

 I define encouragement as one of three things: either 'something that inspires us, gives us courage or builds us up' ('hey, that's a nice top'; 'I just wanted to say, you have such a godly character'; 'you are doing such a good job, keep it up!'; 'you can do it!' etc), or 'an urging or advice' ('I'd encourage you to apologise' etc), or 'something, usually an action, and often unconsciously done, that brings joy or relief' ("Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the saints." {Philemon 1:7}). (I know these may seem blurred and/or all the same, but I did my best. :D I reckon you guys get the gist of encouragement.) Here, I'm just going to talk about the first one. 

 So: does God wan't us to give encouragement? OF COURSE!!! It may be hard to do at times, or seem weird, but God commands us to encourage each other. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." (Let's hope that last bit is true!) There are stacks of other Bible verses that talk about encouragement; check out Romans 12:8, 2 Timothy 4:2 and Titus 2:15b. There are many places where the Bible talks about specific people encouraging: like Paul in Colossians 2:2, Barnabas in Acts 11:23 and Judas and Silas in Acts 15:32. Guess what? The Bible even tells us that God encourages us! (Psalm 10:17, Romans 15:5.) So does the Holy Spirit. (Acts 9:31.) God also speaks through the Scriptures to give us encouragement. (Romans 15:4; I think you've probably experienced these ideas for yourself!)

 Why encourage? Why does God command us to build each other up? Well, there's the simple fact that it makes others feel nice. You know how you feel when you're encouraged; others feel that way too when you encourage them. Everyone likes a boost. 
 Then, there's the effects your encouragement can have. Check out this verse: "But commission Joshua, and encourage and strengthen him, for he will lead this people across and will cause them to inherit the land that you will see." (Deuteronomy 3:28, emphasis mine.) Your encouragement could do something big! OK, OK, maybe not saying 'I love your shirt' (I guess, you never know... it could start that girl thinking about creating her own fashion label... :P), but some things could have a big impact.
 Lastly, there's what might happen if you don't encourage someone. 2 Samuel 19:7: "Now go out and encourage your men. I swear by the Lord that if you don’t go out, not a man will be left with you by nightfall!" (OK, my example may be slightly exaggerated, but the concept still holds.) If you don't encourage someone, something negative could happen. Maybe if I hold back from telling the girl on my street that she looks pretty she'll grow up hating herself. (Maybe not, but who knows. My encouragement could just be the thing that pulls someone away from something bad or helps change a life course. But always remember, such encouragement - indeed, all encouragement - needs to be constant and consistent.) 

 I'd also like to point out that we can be channels for God's direct encouragement. This may or may not be a new concept for you, but it's really cool! For example, when I ask God for a message of encouragement for someone, He most often gives a picture. I then ask God what it means, and deliver the message. By the way, not everyone gets a picture, but I usually do.
 Sometimes God gives you a message (for your or someone else) suddenly, sometimes He gives it when you ask. Sometimes when you ask you don't get something, and that's fine. 



 So lets rise to the challenge... and the command! Let's spread encouragement all around us!


Love in Christ,Cassie xoxoxo



P.S. Check out this wonderful video!!!

New and Awesome Discoveries!

 I have exciting news! {Insert drum roll...} I've recently made 3 discoveries! And I'd love to share them with you.

1) {Rediscovered} The book "Do Hard Things" and the Rebolution. 
These are VERY cool. The book "Do Hard Things is written by teen writers Alex and Brett Harris. They inspire and challenge Christian teens to rise above our perverted culture's incredibly low expectations for us and the teen years. And to DO HARD THINGS for God. (That's what the Rebolution's all about too.) I know, I can hear you groan. 'Hard things? Who wants do do hard things?' But hey, I can tell you, this book is a HUGE life-changer, NOT a burden. (See http://www.therebelution.com/) I HIGHLY RECOMMEND "DO HARD THINGS"!!!!! I was given it two years ago, and didn't really take it in, but this holidays I decided to re-read it, and I'm SO glad I did, because it lead to...

2) My Personal Rebolution! OK, this is a long story, so I'll tell it in stages.
Stage 1: Before I re-read "Do Hard Things," the question of 'what to do with my spare time and how do I use it wisely for God' had been lurking in the background of my mind. Occasionally it reared it's head more strongly, but I never did anything about it. Then along came...
Stage 2: "Do Hard Things!" As I read it, the 'time question' bubble burst (or should I say, exploded!). I knew I had to to something. My thought process went something like this: "I needed to harness my time. And my passion... wait, passion? But I'm not passionate for anything 'big' (for example, poverty, modern-day slavery etc). Well, then, what is my passion? Ah, I'm passionate about the things on my blog, that sort of stuff... OK, how do I turn that into something hard?" Hm, good question. I needed a little...
Stage 3: Brainstorming! I thought of something and put it to my mum, who suggested some other things. Now I had a mental 'hard thing' checklist (actually, this came a little later, but I put it here because it's more relevant). My goal: take a further step in my passion to encourage girls to be pure and follow God whole-heartedly. My checklist:

1. Submit to God each morning when I wake up. 
2. Email Sarah Mally (author of "Before You Meet Prince Charming" and founder of the Bright Lights ministry) to see if she has any use for my testimony/message or me in person. I wanted see if God had an opening for me with Bight Lights, apart from starting a group. (However, nothing really came of that email.)
3. Email our Children's Ministry Pastor to see if there may be a place in the church for a ministry to young girls.
4. Attend the Radiant Purity conference that Sarah Mally is hosting - and probably her Strong in the Lord conference and the Bright Light Leaders Training too. 

If your still not convinced about this 'hard things' business, let me tell you: deciding on my hard thing, and anticipating the things God's gonna bring about, has had me full of joy for the last few days! I'm soooo excited!!! No negative results yet! (And though possible future 'failure' (you only fail if you give up!), burnout etc may seem 'negative,' they are positive, or at least outweigh the negative by a million miles, in the long run! I can brace myself for them without getting down for sure!)

Stage 4: Action! My list now looks like:

1. Submit to God each morning when I wake up. \
2. Wait for the church's response. (Then follow up, or explore other options.)
3. Attend  the conferences (held in December). 

So that's my Personal Rebolution! It's bound to make a change in my life and in the way I spend my time. Yay! Now, my third discovery...

3) The Modesty Survey. This is very exciting! The Rebolution.com hosted a survey, asking Christian guys specific questions about modesty and different clothing. It was both very helpful and encouraging to read the results. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU HAVE A LOOK! I'm glad I came across it. 

And that completes my discoveries! Awesome, don't you agree!? Open to any comments!

Cassie xoxoxo

P.S. Check out the conferences I mentioned earlier! They're worth a good hard look.