Spring/Summer Modesty!

A friend recently asked me for tips on how to stay modest and comfortable this spring/summer. After I wrote my reply I had the idea of putting all my hints into a blog post. So here it is! My few tips on how to stay modest, comfortable and chic in the heat. (To my Northern Hemisphere readers: I know it's not spring up north, but keep a few of these points in mind for when it is. Also, I'm not sure what department stores you have where you live, so unfortunately my specific-store-related hints probably won't apply to you.)

• First of all, here's what I know's in the shops that I avoid: see-through tops and skirts (often made of chiffon or lace), low-cut tops, shorts/dresses/skirts shorter than a few inches above my knee, tops with arm-holes that are low enough or loose enough to show my bra when I lift my arms, tank tops and singlets (these tend to be too low and too tight or show bra straps), backless (or practically backless) tops/dresses etc. Dresses and tops like this:

are in fashion, but I avoid them because of the see-through (or backless) upper.)

• I love the cute, light '60s dresses like this:

 

and this: 

 

that are in fashion now. In fact, I'm wearing one right of the first style right now, and have one of the second style in my wardrobe! They have high necks and are most often a decent length.

Looking at Target Online recently, I've found a few in these styles, although they are a little pricey. Also on Big W online there are a few.

• Go long skirts! I don't actually have any, but I've seen friends wearing them. You can get nice light ones in summer. Check out Target again.
• During summer I practically live in denim shorts. I got mine from Target last year (starting to see a theme? :P). If I remember correctly, there's a style called 'Boyfriend' (go figure!) that is nice and loose. But that may be a faulty memory. Also cargo shorts seem to be good, although I don't have any.
• As for tops, these are harder I think. My style is more dressy, elegant; you don't really find me in over-loose t-shirts etc, so I personally can't escape to that kind of style. Even the trendy styles like this:

don't look as great on me as they do on some of my friends. However, many of you would probably rock that style, so go for it! Many of those kind of tops are very modest. But anyway... For me my greatest find has been the basic Emerson 'rib' tees (or whatever they're called) at Big W:

 

(Mine's dark blue.) Not the best quality, but very cheap, very simple, very modest, and, as it fits oh-so-subtly around my curves, elegant enough to satisfy my style. 

• The Regatta brand at Myers has some nice, modest tops for reasonable prices.
• I know layering isn't the best option in summer, but if you have too, go for a Target Essentials basic t-shirt. Although a bit too see-through to wear on it's own, it's perfect for layering. Same If you need a singlet or leggings - go Target Essentials.
• Swim-wear is a big one. I think it's a given for us that bikinis are a no-go. Personally, I think that even one-pieces are still too immodest. I wear a one-piece under a rash-shirt and sports skort (skirt and shorts in one). 

This is a sports-material skort

I possibly could omit the rash-shirt, but I prefer to be on the safe side.

• Pray before you go summer shopping. And praise God when you find something! Oh, and a bit of research on online helps, so you can just walk into the department store and ask for what you've seen online.

Hope these tips help you!

Cassie xoxoxo

Daily Dignity: Dress

So Cassie has been going through many ways of how we can act with dignity and really become that beautiful princess. I'm here to talk about dressing like we are daughters of the King.

 So have you ever really thought about the fact that once we accept God's amazing offer of eternal life we actually become his princess!? Well, it's true! And I think it's high time that we start acting like it's true. Dressing with dignity is a great way to send people a message that:

1. You live for Christ.
2. You respect your brothers in Christ (and other guys) enough to put effort into being modest.
3. You respect yourself! And that you want to be beautiful but also not revealing.

 Dressing with dignity is such a wonderful way not only to set an example for non-Christians, but also to encouraging your sisters in Christ to do the same, and to encouraging your brothers in Christ not to sin.

 Please realise I'm not just talking modesty. Dressing with dignity means sooo much more! Hopefully, after reading some of Cassie's amazing posts, you're starting to grasp the meaning of dignity. But... if you are going to start trying to act with dignity and dress with it you have to believe that you are God's princess! And that because you are, God believes that you are worth looking beautiful! Do you totally believe that??

 Don't think about modesty as a way to completely cover up and look sloppy/unattractive. You don't have to do that! OK, maybe that is still being 'modest' but that is not what we're talking about! Dressing with dignity is actually different. It means we want to reflect the beauty of Christ through us in the way we dress. I think that is different to just 'covering up...' and hopefully sounds better! It's so much fun to take time to dress up a bit for special things and make sure you're always looking nice. We want people to think of us as, yes, different... but a good different!

 Nowadays it's becoming more and more difficult to dress with dignity, as people just want to look 'hot' rather than beautiful. Nevertheless, I think that, as Christians, we should make a change, and we can sometimes do this by the way we dress. People will look at us and go, "hey, she dresses different. I wonder why?" Here are some tips on dressing beautifully, like a lady, without revealing too much nor looking sloppy:

1. Skirts! Skirts are so beautiful and modest! They give us a feeling of feminism and can be dressed up or down. 
2. Scarves! OK, sometimes we see (or own) a shirt that we really like... except for the fact that it's a bit too low, or too tight. Now, I really don't want you to get into the mode of 'get away with as much as possible,' but there if there is a way we can make that shirt modest, why not go for it! Try this: wear a simple scarf over the top! But make sure that it really is modest... in all positions. (Leaning over at the waist is the most common not-modest-even-with-a-scarf position, as the scarf falls forward and off your shirt. But if you don't lean over at the waist (which is good!), that position won't be a problem!) Wearing a scarf also dresses an outfit up a bit for, say, going to church or out to dinner. It can also make your outfit look modern as well as elegant. (See the last two pictures.) (Sorry about this font, it was stuffing up.)
3. Don't be afraid to dress up! There's two things I reckon we have to think about when we dress: modest and dignity. And it may mean that we need to put a little more effort into the way we look. So dressing up a bit for certain occasions is fine. And can make you feel really beautiful! Wearing dresses is so much fun! And also can give you that sense of feminin-ness and dignity. (The last picture is an example of this.)
4. A little bit of make-up. Now this is something that is neither right or wrong; it's up to what YOU think (and your parents!). And everyone is entitled to their own opinion. And I'm just going to share mine :) I think wearing a bit of make-up for special occasions is great! I love make-up! It makes me feel dressed up and adds to my outfit... IF I don't put too much on. Too much make-up... well, yes, that becomes a problem because it generally overpowers your face and natural features, and people are drawn to look at you for not the best reason! And that is not dressing with dignity! So sometimes a bit of made-up can just be lovely to add to your outfit and make a special touch! But make sure you remember that too much causes problems and that you ARE beautiful without it! (This is now me, Cassie: I very rarely wear make-up. I believe that girls look lovely with out it! But I also agree with Bri: it's up to the individual. Some people are more drawn to make-up than others. But please, for the sake of dignity and beauty, don't put on too much! Make sure you highlight your natural beauty, not overpower it. Now, back to Bri...)

So without further or do let us begin our quest for dignity! And dignity in everything. I hope this has inspired you to dress with dignity because you are God's princess. Do you dress to be accepted into the modern world? Or do you dress for Christ? Think about it!

Your sister in Christ,

Bri

(And your sister in Christ, Cassie. Bri did nearly all of the work for this post {round of applause!}. I only edited and put is some things, including the most pictures that I'm now going let you look at!)

This is my new dress!!! Beautiful and modest (as you can see by the neckline, and also the length compared to my hand.)

                          

Sorry, I was having a collage moment!

                       <3 this outfit!                                                                               This one's more modern and casual.

 

                 Winter outfits! Hurrah for turtle-necks! Very modest and dignified and pretty.

 

This shirt below is a close-up of the one above on the right.

This is a great winter top! Long enough so that I can just put leggings under it for warmth.

 Another skirt!

(Bri's picture below.) Skirt and scarf!

(Bri's picture below.) What a pretty dress! And a scarf!

My (Cassie's) apologies for the poor quality pictures that I took! Bri's are great!

 And this ends my Daily Dignity posts! Hope you enjoyed them and were possibly inspired.

Love,

Cassie xoxoxo

Daily Dignity: Posture

 Hey guys! A new topic today: posture/movement. (Are your brows creasing?) You may have never thought of it, but the position of your body does relate to dignity (and modesty, by the way).

 Let's think about it for a minute: is draping yourself carelessly over a bench with your hips at a funny angle dignified? Is bending at the waist only so that your backside {ah-hem} protrudes dignified? Is strutting? Is sitting haphazardly? I do not think so.

 Let's go back to the princess analogy. Take the questions above and try to imagine that princess doing those things. Can you? Does she look like a princess any more? Or more like a typical teenage slouch? Do you reckon she would win the admiration and respect of the nobles if she acted  and looked like that? The answer is obvious: a lady-like princess would not place her body carelessly. And we also need to display dignity in our posture and movement. Here's some suggestions for doing so:

1. Don't drape yourself. This is hard to explain. Basically don't lean over something sloppily. A common 'draped' position is leaning your torso over a table/bench, with your chin resting in your hand/s. If standing, it is often accompanied by the hips being tilted. If sitting, it is often made worse by leaning to one side. 'Draped' posture is NOT dignified or modest.
2. Don't sit on the ground with your legs stretched open in a 'V.' Legs together is OK, but not open.
3. Don't bend at the waist only. You know the look this creates. Not dignified. Or modest. It's even worse if your top rides up. If you need to bend to reach something, bend at the knees and keep the back straight. If it's on the floor, crouch with your back upright. Or kneel down. It's far more dignified than carelessly bending at the waist. And more modest by a long shot.
4. Try to stretch discreetly. I don't deny the fact that sometimes our backs get little stiff and we need to stretch. But bending straight back or over (especially at the waist) or throwing the shoulders and arms back does not display dignity. It displays carelessness. It's better to discreetly twist your torso, keeping your arms forward. If you need to bend forwards to stretch, bend at the knees as well, just like you're picking something up from the ground. If you want to bend backwards, preferably move away from other people so as not to unintentionally draw attention to yourself.
5. Walk with dignity. You don't have to be conscious of your every step, but be careful if you have a tendency to strut or walk sloppily. Carrying yourself with gracefulness is key to being dignified. Once upon a time, ladies walked with lovely posture and dignity. They valued how the body was carried. Our bodies are, after all, a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19).
6. Sit or stand with poise. Sitting or standing sloppily is not dignified. It is careless. It conveys lack of value for others, your body and what you are doing. Sitting or standing with poise, on the other hand, conveys attentiveness and value for the above. 
7. Don't slouch. (Part of #6.)

 I'd like to point out that, while we should have a habit of retaining dignity in our posture, it's often OK not be completely dignified while by ourselves. For example, it's fine to flop yourself onto your bed when you need a break. Or take a good stretch when you're alone. Some things, however, it's simply good to get in the habit of doing, and so doing them when you're alone is a good idea. One of these, I find, is crouching instead of bending at the waist. 

 Again, it's hard work to conquer these things. I know I fail often. (Trust me, I straightened up a dozen or so times just writing this post!)  But the Lord will honour your striving if you do it in His power. 1 Corinthians 1:8-9 says: "He will keep you strong to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful."

 Maybe you think I'm too strict. If so, I apologise. I really don't want people being uptight or paranoid about these things.  It's the 'good, better, best' thing. Are you sinning by slouching? No. Is slouching the most important thing to work on in your daily life? Maybe, but probably not. Given a choice between slouching and sitting straight, should you sit straight? Yes. 
 Some of my post are about more urgent or 'bigger' problems, some are about 'little' things that we can improve. I simply want to bring to mind these subjects and give some practical tips or solutions. It's up to you to evaluate what you read and decide whether you should follow my advice.

Much love in Christ,

Cassie xoxox


 P.S. If you want to explore subject of posture more, or if you want to know what influenced my thoughts on this topic, check out this link: http://www.therebelution.com/modestysurvey/browse. (Just a warning: it's probably best to get your Mum to look at this first if you are under 18.) If you're allowed to have a look, click the posture/movement section and check out the responses from guys to the statements. It was from reading this (and "The Lost Art of True Beauty" by Leslie Ludy) that I came to realise that posture was reasonably important.

Modesty in Actions... huh?

 Hey guys! I'm working on a post about modesty in actions, but I just can't seem to put my finger on what exactly it is that is wrong with our behaviour sometimes. Like, I sometimes I come home from, say, youth and think to myself, "Hm, I don't think I behaved in the best manner tonight. " Often I think I've crossed some line, but it's hard to define what and where that line is. So I'm wondering what you guys think: how does God  want us to behave modestly, what do we often do 'wrong,' and what's wrong with it? Inviting all comments...

"Mission Modesty - Revive Our Actions" (Part 2)

 Thanks for your thoughts guys! They were great!

OK, you may or may not remember my post "Mission Modesty - Protect Our Brothers! (Part 1)." If you haven't read it, go and check it out. Any way, you may (or may not!) have wondered, "where's part two?" Well... Ta-da! This is it! (And just to warn you, this is gonna be a long post! And sorry about the funny text. It kept mucking up, so there's variations within the post.)

OK, first I want to define what I think modesty in actions really is. Then I'll go on to give some examples of what it looks like. But for now, here's my definition: modesty in actions is a quality that comes from the heart-desire to let Jesus shine through one's actions, is spurred on by prudence and results in discretion, selflessness and control of one's behaviour. 

Let's unpack that a bit more. (I'll try hard to balance my descriptions between explaining thoroughly and not over-explaining and repeating myself, and so confusing you. Bear with me.)

1. Comes from the heart-desire to let Jesus shine through our actions.  This is all-important. We can't do a very good job of being modest if we don't truly desire to shine Jesus' character to everyone we meet. It'll just be propped up and fake. This eagerness that Jesus places within us to show Him every way we can is the foundation to modesty of any kind. Emily Grace said that we need to fill up on scripture and discover what God says about how we should behave. I agree; it'll fire us up for wanting to show Him to everyone.
2. Is spurred on by prudence. Prudence is defined as "being careful to avoid undesired consequences" (The Concise Oxford Dictionary) and "caution in regard to practical matters" (Dictionary.com). This obviously means that prudence is important to in our decisions. We are constantly making decisions on how to behave, and prudence helps us to make careful decisions that will have positive effects. Modesty in actions is spurred on by wise decision making... a.k.a. prudence. (There are some verses in Proverbs about prudence: check out Proverbs 12:8, 15:5 and 21:16.)
3. Results in - Discretion. Discretion is being discreet in our behaviour. 'Discreet' is defined as "wise in one's conduct or speech, especially with regards to respecting privacy or maintaining silence about somethingof a delicate nature," or "modestly unobtrusive; not intended to attract notice." Not being overly silly or loud and not drawing attention to ourselves, etc,  is discreet (more on this later).  Flirting is certainly not discreet (more on that later too). Just remember the base word of discretion: discreet. Oh, and I was lead by God to this Bible verse: "Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion" (Proverbs 11:22). Basically, it says you can have beauty (the gold ring), but if you lack discretion, you don't have real beauty! Ouch! If that doesn't wake me up to the importance of discretion, then, then I doubt much else will be able to !
4.  - Selflessness. This's the thing I really want to draw out. Modesty in actions is, for me, all about not drawing attention to ourselves, but instead pouring our pursuits into Christ and letting Him shine through us. And that's being selfless, right? Seriously, do you think Christ can shine though our actions if we just seek to draw attention to us, not Him? If we think we deserve attention, why should we and how can we be modest in our actions? I believe we (including me for sure!!) need to think less about ourselves and more of others and Jesus. Humility and selflessness are key.
5. 
    - Control of behaviour. Er, pretty self-explanatory. We behave with discretion, selflessness and knowledge of God's standard of behaviour. Controlled behaviour is the result.

Now you get the gist of what modesty in actions is (hopefully!!), I'll try to describe what it looks like in everyday life. There are a few things that I think we need to put on, and some we need to put off (Hebrews 12:1, Ephesians 4:22-24 and Colossians 3:8-10). First come the examples of the 'off' stuff, then the 'on' stuff.

• Flirting. "Actions designed to attract the favourable attention of the other gender," as my mother wisely said. That's about as simple as I can put it. I think we know what it looks like, and when we do it, as Bri said. However, we must realise that it's the intentions behind the acts that make it flirting. The key part of this definition is the 'designed to attract' bit. We can do things that will attract the favourable attention of others, but are not designed for that purpose. The motive is key.
   I also think that laughing too much/hard at a guy's joke/humour is a form of flirting. I guess I view it as 'leading him on.' Just to clear things up, I AM NOT telling you to quit laughing or smiling at the funny things guys say. That would be silly, and hypocritical of my belief that following God is meant to be FUN (among other things). So relax; you can still have a good time with guys. BUT... I think many of us (certainly me!) can at times go overboard in our response to guys' natural humour. While it's fine to laugh at a joke, sometimes I think we need to settle down a bit. (I really hope I got that across well. It's very hard. Feel free to just think "what on earth is she talking about?")

• Crude and inappropriate jokes/words. (Thanks again, Bri!) "Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt." (Colossians 4:6a.) "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. "Nor should there be any obscenity, foolish talk or course joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving." (Ephesians 4:29, 5:4.) Simple as that. Are crude words full of grace or wholesome? NO WAY! 

• Laughing too loudly and being too silly. What? We laugh too loud? We can get too silly? Never!... NOT!! If we laugh too loud, we are just attracting attention to ourselves. I think we can still laugh hard, but just not overdo the volume. Same with being too silly. Careening around crazily sure draws attention. So we just need to watch that our merriness doesn't go too far. 

Now for the 'put on's.

•  I think we need to put effort into searching and studying how God wants us to behave, just as Emily Grace said. What's better  than getting instructions straight from God!? We need to pour more effort into seeking God than seeking attention from others... actually, we shouldn't seek attention from them at all!
  
  
• We need to remember to guard our hearts, our emotions, the inner things that need to be kept sacred. "[We should not be] haphazard and flippant with our hearts and emotions, casually sharing our most vulnerable thoughts and intimate secrets with [everyone and anyone]." ("The Lost Art of True Beauty" by Leslie Ludy; page 94.) Why would we want to 'spill the beans' to everyone around you? Sure, us younger girls may not stuggle with this a whole heap, but we sure need to keep it in mind.  This is especially the case when relating to guys. While it's OK to share deep things with your family and good friends, we shouldn't let the world (those not as close to us, including most guys) into the deepest, sacred parts of our hearts. We need to whatch what we talk about, especially with guy friends.  This is where discretion and discernment come in.

Whew! Did you really get through that post?! Round of applause for you! I hope you got something out of it. Feel free to agree or disagree in a comment. Is there anything I need to add, or take out?

Your sister in Christ,
Cassie xoxoxo

"Mission Modesty: Protect Our Brothers!" (Part 1)

Warning! This post rated PG!

Modesty. You've all heard the word. You know it can apply to how you dress and how you behave. For this post, we will talk about modesty in the dress sense.


Here comes a statement of absolute, scary truth. It is true, freaky and a fair bit hard for girls to believe, but it's a statement that will change you, your thinking and possibly your wardrobe:

You know God made men and women to be attracted to each others' bodies. Now, us girls may not think much of this, but WAIT! Guys - that includes our brothers in Christ - are really visual. They are 'turned on' by what they see! So in order to protect them and their minds, we gals need to cover anything that will get them going. This includes: midriff (tummy) (check for when raising arms in a top), cleavage, bra and breasts (check for when bend over at waist), undies (check for when sit or bend at waist), small of back (lower back, closer to bottom) (check for when bend at waist or sit), or too much thigh (I love Rebbecca St. James' standard - stand straight with your hands at your side. If your fingers are lower than your skirt, dress or pants, it's too short). We also need to be sure we're not highlighting the above (check for tightness 'outlining,' words over, etc). But don't take my word for it! Look to the Bible. Yes, it has stuff to say too. Let's take a look:

Romans 14:21(NIV, emphasis added) says "It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything else that will cause your brother to fall." 1 Corinthians 8:9(NIV, emphasis added) - "Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak." A slap-in-the-face verse, said by Christ Himself, is Mathew 18:6-7(NASB) - "But whoever causes one of these [guys] who believes in me to stumble, it would be better for [her] to have a heavy millstone hung around [her] neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea... For it is inevitable that stumbling blocks come; but woe that [girl] through whom the stumbling block comes!"

Yikes! You just realised that we (and modest clothes) are a critical part to protecting our brothers in Christ! And that God says you should, too! With that in mind, does anything have to change? Do you need to toss that really low-cut top or pants? Those undies that are always showing above your jeans? The shirt that hitches to show your tummy when you raise your arms? Or that spills forward, revealing too much, when you bend over? Or get a cute bolero for the spaghetti-strap top that shows your bra straps? Maybe time to give away that skirt that is a bit too short. Keep a rash shirt over those togs that reveal a bit too much back... or front? Perhaps the dress that highlights your chest too much needs to go. Get what I mean? I think so. By the way, a lot of things can be made decent by layering - using a singlet under a shirt that rides up, or wearing leggings with a too-short skirt or dress.

For those 13 (probably better 14) and up, a GREAT book on this topic is "Sexy Girls" by Hailey DiMarco. But beware! she is very frank and direct! The book expands on the 'scary statement' above to quite a degree. Not for the weak in mind.

Also, I know it's hard to know exactly what can cause a guy to stumble... and if it's just one, or hundreds of guys who reckon that item does not help their minds. I know I had dozens of specific questions. And then I have come across an AMAZING modesty resource! It's for girls... by guys! And not just one or two... but literally hundreds of guys stating their opinion. It's also really encouraging for girls trying hard to be modest, and possibly feeling rather alone. AND it's free! "JUST WHAT IS THIS AMAZING THING THAT I'M DYING TO CHECK OUT?" I can hear you saying. So without further ado, may I present The Modesty Survey! (That's a link, check it out!) I will now cease to rave about this (permit me one more rave) supa-calla-fraja-listic-expi-alla-do-shus resource and let you explore it for yourself. 

Cassie xoxoxo