Dear Future Husband: I'm learning to love you

Photo credit to Wim Mulder and Flickr Creative Commons

I wrote a post in the middle of last year called "Dear Future Husband: I don't love you." Well, not a lot has changed since then. I still don't think I can totally say with a clear conscience "I love my future husband."

But, as my last post indicated, I've learned a lot recently about selfless, true love. And recently a magnificent post popped up in my inbox that was a slap-in-the-face reminder that I need to be thinking about how I can love my future husband now, especially as I relate to guys in my life. I need to be thinking about how I can honour him, respect him, protect myself for him. (And yes, dear Bri, this is what you've hammered into me all along, but I think it actually, really truly struck me just the other day :P).

And now, I think, I hope, I can say - "Dear Future Husband: I don't know you yet, and honestly I am still a selfish little brat a lot of the time, but God's working on that. And I'm still proud too - yeh, there's a lot of work to go there. And way, way too often I forget about you, and I forget to remember that I need to be seeking your good all the days of my life (Prov 31:12). But, I'm trying. God's got His hands full training me, but I'm getting there. And with His power I will seek to love you right now. I know I make mistakes, and when we meet I'm sure you'll have a lot to forgive me for unfortunately. :/ But I'm learning to love you."


Cassie xoxoxo

P.S. Yes, glorifying God is the ultimate motivator for behaving correctly, but keeping in mind that we should be seeking to love our future husband is a helpful guideline. :)

P.P.S. What a fitting Valentines day post! :P

Revelations about Love

Photo credit: Flickr Creative Commons and Artotem

Somehow I've been reading a lot lately about love.

God's crazy, insane, earth-shattering love for us.
How Jesus loves us despite our sin and messed-up-ness and unfaithfulness.
How worthy we are because He loves us.
What it looks like to really, truly love another human.
How loving God means serving Him. How serving God is loving Him.
How we can only be truly loved when we take of our masks and let it be the real us that is is loved, not the image we put forward.

It's especially interesting because I'm in a season of learning more of what it means to love others with real love. (Is God trying to get my attention and teach me something? Probably. :P)

To be completely honest, love is something I've never struggled with. From the moment I was born I have been surrounded with people who have shown me real love. Every moment of my life I've known that my family really, truly loved me. I've always accepted that God loved me. God has also given me with dozens of good friends through the years who have shown me love and not given up on me. While I've felt lonely, I've never felt a lack of deep, true love.

But I know so so many people have. And over the past... well, probably year really, God has been teaching me what it means to love with real love, His love, those who may have rarely felt that kind of love before.

And it's as I love that I am getting to experience love through a different lens, from a different angle. I will admit that to my shame I have been guilty of taking the love I have always known for granted. I have never really stopped to appreciate what it has meant to always feel loved and cared for. But God is opening my eyes to how great and powerful real love is when displayed through His people.

I see it in the grateful and slightly surprised look on a friend's face when I give her a shoulder massage.

I realise it when my sweet friend in hospital with anorexia breaks down as her friends who have faithfully visited her smother her in hugs.

It hits me when my friend, tears streaming down his face, says that before last year he'd never had a real friend. And now I am privileged to be that friend to him. I am one of a few who he can be real with, where he can take of that mask and experience genuine love and care. As he shows me the side he usually hides, the pain and brokenness, and I refuse to turn away, I hear in his words and see in his eyes the the wonder and thankfulness that goes beyond language.

Love is crazy!! When we offer it unconditionally, when we let it flow from Christ through us, oh it is then that walls are pulled down, wounds heal, hearts open, lives are changed! It is a beautiful, beautiful thing, and it's power is inexpressible.

That doesn't mean it's easy. It's often not. It's messy. It means listening to hard things and sacrificing time and being there constantly and persevering in Christ's strength even when the other person only drinks it in and doesn't give back, or doesn't thank you, or you feel like you'll collapse if you receive another prayer request.

But ultimately, to be able to love unconditionally with Christ's love, that is one of the greatest privileges I have! It's always, always worth it, and I thank God for showing me what love really is and does as I extend it to thirsty hearts.


Cassie xoxoxo

Sunshine Blogger Award

Helloooooo guys!!!! I'm sorry, I haven't blogged in ages!! It's good to be back. :D

So a few weeks ago I was nominated for the Sunshine Blogger Awards by both Laini and Sam! Thank you so much girls!!

As part of the award, I have to write seven facts about myself. So here goes! (Warning: they are very much random, just what's coming to me as I write!)

1. Friends mean the world to me. Honestly, if I call you my friend, I'd do anything for you (within Biblical limits of course). I don't care how long we've known each other or even if we've drifted apart - if you need me I'm there. I'll drop pretty much anything to call, message, or drive over for a visit.
   This can be a curse too though - I have a tendency to let friends take first place over God. I need to be reminded that they aren't as important as God and that I can't be totally dependant on them. 
2. I love dancing. I did ballet for 9 years, and though I don't do dance lessons any more, dancing is still very much in my blood. I love grooving to music or just dancing around the house... or friend's house... or shopping centre...
3. I've been refined-sugar-free for a year! (So yes I can still have fruit and honey and coconut palm sugar, etc.) Yes of course there's been points I've been naughty and had a bit of desert or something, but mostly I've stuck to it pretty well I think! And yes after a few months it got to the point where it wasn't really that hard any more. 
4. I never had a phone or Facebook until late last year. And looking back those are two of the best decisions I've made!
5. Old books are some of my favourite things in the whole wide world. Lead me into a library of old books, copies of classics from a hundred years ago, and watch me wander round in awe, delicately drawing titles from the shelves, smelling their pages, relishing each word. A friend recently lent me his Literary Heritage Collection edition of Pride and Prejudice. Let's just say I'm kinda over the moon... :D 
6. I'm starting a Bachelor of Psychology at uni in a few weeks! Yeppers, I've finally sorted out what the next few years will probably look like (subject to change of course)! I'm so keen, though I know it'll be a lot of work! 
7. I've travelled the entire east coast of Australia (at least as far north as you can go without a 4-wheel-drive car). That crosses three states (Queensland, New South Wales and Victoria) which for those outside Australia might not sound like much, but it's actually roughly equal to the greatest hight of the US (most southern point of Texas through the North Dakota-Canada border). 

Now I'm supposed to nominate 5 bloggers... Well, to be honest, I haven't really kept up with blogs recently. :/ And of those I do keep up with, most have been nominated already. Like Lauren, from Defying Depravity. ;P BUT one blogger who I don't *think* has been nominated who is honestly one of my faves, is Rachel Joy from Noteworthy. :) 

So Rachel, the rules: You have to make a post like this, and…

1. Give your thanks to the blogger who gave the award to you

2. Include the picture – the bright yellow one – in your blog post

3. List 7 facts about yourself!

4. Nominate 5 other bloggers that you respect and let them know by posting a comment on their blog.

Anyway guys, I had a fun with this post! Thanks again Sam and Laini for nominating me! :D

Cassie xoxoxo

Closing Thoughts for 2015

Wow.

This has been an incredible year.

And it's almost over. SAYWHAAATTT?!!!!

I've learnt some amazing stuff from God, He's gotten me through some rough patches, and blessed me with awesome ones. I've made new friends and finished school and made plans for next year.

As I look back on this year and prepare for the one ahead, I think a spoken-word outro from the For King and Country song "O God Forgive Us" sums up my thoughts:

“Run wild: To risk everything. To hold nothing back. To lay it all on the line- your reputation, your success, your comfort. It’s that moment when fear is overcome by faith.
Live free: It’s not the liberty to do whatever you want whenever and wherever you want. But rather it’s living in accordance with the Author of humanity, and finding freedom by connecting with the Creator who conceived you. Let the light flood into your eyes for the first time, feeling the blood course through your veins, finding the truest version of yourself by knowing the One who knows you even better than you know yourself.
Love strong: Because you were first loved. Because without love, we all perish. Because the earth and the stars can and will pass away, but love, love will always remain.″


Happy New Year and blessings for 2016!!
Cassie xoxoxo

Distraction on Christmas Day

Christmas was AWESOME at my house!!! I really, really enjoyed the day. I feel like we were able to remember the true meaning of Christmas, and celebrate well. It was so fun to have extended family together, eating and talking. It was so nice just to chill after Christmas lunch, take a nap with my brother, just relax.

However, there was a lot of little 'in-between' moments of time. You know, where there's no jobs to be done, and the adults are talking about something uninteresting, and the kids are all running around the yard. And in those moments, I felt... distracted. I wanted to be completely focused on God and the wonder of Christmas, and then focused on family, but my attention was being pulled away. By what, you ask? Take a guess... Yep, a guy. :/

We'd been in frequent contact, by messaging, and seeing each other at various things. Now I hadn't seen him for a few days, and we hadn't talked quite as much. However stupid it sounds, and was, I felt like I was going through withdrawal symptoms! I literally just wanted to sit down and message him all afternoon, but I knew that was both inappropriate, and rather disrespectful to my family!!

So I went to an upstairs bedroom with my Bible, and shut the door. I knew I had to sort this out or my heart would be in the wrong place all day. I confessed my feelings to God. And then I messaged my best friend/accountability partner, told her what was going on, and asked her to pray. Not seconds after I sent the message, it hit me.

This had to be spiritual attack to some degree at least!! Next to God, this guy was probably the thing that had the most hold on my heart and mind. So of course Satan would try to use him to tear God from first place! And especially on this day where Christ is supposed to be my special focus! Satan would do anything to destroy Christmas in my heart.

But I wasn't going to let him. I started praying.

Again I learnt that our Commander and the forces behind us are stronger than anything Satan can muster!! God worked in my heart, and refocused it on Him. All feelings of 'withdrawal' left, and I was honestly able spend time with my family without wanting to be talking to him. Praise the Lord!

For some of you sweet readers of my blog, Christmas day has been and gone for you. For some, it's still Christmas night. But even as this time of special remembrance winds down over the next few days, can I leave you a little reminder?

Don't get distracted. Yes, Satan will be chucking distractions at us left, right, and centre, but remember that you are free of his power!! Christ dwells in you, and He is stronger! Pray for focus in this time. Pray for a clear mind and an unbound heart. Pray for Christmas to be real to you.

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."

John 1:5

Merry Christmas!!!
Cassie xoxoxo

A New Phase of Relationships // Part 3

So I'd decided to talk to this guy. I needed to apologise for my behaviour.

I thought long and hard about what to say, practised with Mum, etc. Basically I was first going to ask if he felt he'd been getting mixed signals, ask how that made him feel, then explain and apologise.

To cut a long story short, when I asked if he felt he'd been getting mixed signals, he quickly said "No." That threw me! I had this perfect spiel prepared, now what was I supposed to say? Well, I double checked, and said that I felt like I'd been sending mixed signals and needed to apologise. "No, you're fine." Ok... So I just said "Well, whatever I do is just in friendship, Ok?" "OK."

So that was very different to what I was expecting! I'm 99% sure his "no" was completely untrue, that he was just taken by surprise and wasn't ready to talk about it. It was kinda frustrating - I really felt I needed to say sorry, but he wasn't going to admit I'd done anything wrong, so there wasn't much I could do! But I guess the end result is the same - he knows I don't want a relationship or anything right now.

I'm very thankful things didn't stay awkward for long afterwards - we've had several good chat conversations since then, and I'm still comfortable driving him to church etc. Our friendship is growing, which is awesome. It's kind of annoying though - I still have to be especially careful since for all I know he still likes me.

I guess now comes the lessons I've learnt. Well, here's a list:

• NEVER FLIRT unless you legitimately want a relationship. Ugh I thought I'd learnt this already - apparently not. :/ Hopefully I've learnt it now! 
• If you feel something's up with your behaviour, actually take time out to evaluate what and why and how to fix it! If I'd done that this would have been sooooo much easier.
• If you have something this complicated with a relationship of any kind, it's best to talk about it. Honestly, I'm glad I tried even though it didn't go exactly to plan. I feel we can still move on now, instead of wallowing in this what's-up-with-us-what-do-we-do-now tension. 
• Always let your parents know everything that's happening and ask them for help! Oh gosh, I can't imagine trying to navigate this on my own. I'm soooooo thankful for my parents and how they helped me sort things out. 
• Don't let backing up or an awkward situation stifle a friendship. Yes, I flirted, and had to tone down my behaviour. I've had to be way more careful with what I do or say. But that doesn't mean I have to stop being a friend, or being there for him like I would with anyone else. I don't have to stop talking to him or listening to him. Just because I had to cool my actions doesn't mean I have to be totally cold. I think that's a big mistake that can be made - letting repentance swing us too far the other way. Also - yes, we've just had a rather awkward time. But that doesn't need to be wallowed in. We kinda forced ourselves to get over it I think, which was good. 
• As always, God is faithful. He's gotten me through this crash-course in different guy-girl relationships. ;) 

And now my story is all told. :)

Cassie xoxoxo

A New Phase of Relationships // Part 2

The first half of these stories was quite chill really. A big deal, but over now, and OK, and not a huge amount to learn. This second half is different. Way different.

I guess I just start at the start, aye? Well, a bunch of us ex-grade 12s and our leaders went away for a few days. There were several guys going. I didn't 'like' any of them, but one I had gotten to know better recently, and had certainly started to admire a lot more. Well, over the course of the few days, I spent a lot of time with this guy - not particularly intentionally, but it happened. And... something awful happened.

I knew in my mind and heart that I didn't like this guy, that I definitely wouldn't date him at least for a few years, that he had many flaws. But there was a deep, more subconscious, almost 'lower level instinct' that was driving my behaviour. It took over, though I didn't fully realise it, and certainly didn't want it. Basically I ended up flirting with him the entire time. On the last night my leader asked if I thought he liked me... and that dragged everything into the light.

I realised I had been flirting, though not entirely deliberately, and even though a lot of things I'd done I would have done for and with any guy. And more than that... I realised that now he did like me. And that horrified me. I'd just been through this! How could another guy like me?! What if he asked me out? What do I do now?

More than that, I felt, and still feel, very guilty. I had pretty much just played with this guy's heart. I'd sent totally the wrong messages, and so when I realised I had to backtrack, cut back, tone down, be a bit colder, etc, which means now I've given him mixed signals. This guy is a precious child of God, and not only that, but probably one of His more fragile ones. He's been through a lot, and I'd promised to help him, and now I've gone and tampered with his heart. How could I?! I know it's not totally my fault - he probably did take some of my normal very-friendly-ness as flirting, etc. But honestly, when I face the facts, I am definitely majorly to blame. Which is awful. And I am more sorry than words can say.

So I wasn't quite sure what to do. Things weren't awkward, and I'd been working hard to send the right messages. But I wasn't sure whether to let things lie and cool down and hope we got through this well, or whether I needed to rip up those foundations, confess and explain to him and ask his forgiveness, and then start again.

After praying and talking to Mum and Dad, I decided to talk to him. I spent the morning sick with nerves while planning what to say.

How'd it go? I might save that for part 3. :)


Cassie xoxoxo

A New Phase of Relationships // Part 1

So school ends. Schoolies happens. And, in quick succession, I have two boy dramas. Like Someone decided to say "Guess what, you're out of school now, you'll have to start bracing for different guy problems. Oh, and here's a slap-in-the-face introduction to this new phase. You're welcome."
Me: *deep glare at said Person*
Said Person: *innocent grin*
Me: *sigh*

Well, I figured I would tell you about what's been happening, and what I've learnt from it all. So here we go - part 1.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It finally happened.

A guy told me he likes me for the first time.

And I had to reject him. For several reasons, key-est being that I'm nowhere near ready for a relationship at this stage.

Ug, I hated it. It made me sick all that afternoon and even the following morning. Honestly, it went down probably as well as it could. We're still friends, and now it's not awkward. But that doesn't make it easy in the slightest.

The worst thing? Knowing I'll have to do it again in the future, to other guys. I'm not looking forward to that.

I don't actually have a very spiritual lesson to draw from this... Though prayer support was VERY helpful. If I could give any advice, I guess it would have to be, be prepared. I've been thinking about how to let a guy down when it happens for years. Ok you don't have to think about it that long, but do plan. What are you reasons, or what could be? What's a gentle, yet firm, way to say it? Etc. Don't stress, but have a few ideas. It didn't fail me. :)

Cassie xoxoxo

Giving || The Basics

Yes, this is finally one of those promised posts! Thanks for you patience! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was one of those books where you don’t stop saying ‘yes, yes, oh yes.’  To be completely honest, "Money, Possessions and Eternity" by Randy Alcorn was one of the most challenging books I've ever read. Where, as every chapter ends, you feel a convicting pinch in your heart and know you have an application to put into practice. Where every page has a new amazing point or an old concept phrased perfectly. Put simply, I loved it, and DEFINITELY recommend it to every Christian, especially us teens who are just venturing into the big wide world of money and possessions.

One of the things in the book that most struck me was Randy's teaching on tithing. I've always heard of tithing and believed it’s important - my parents taught me to tithe ever since I was old enough to know what 'money' meant. But Randy didn’t just remind me of the ‘what’ of tithing, but also the ‘why.' Where before it had been just a practice I knew had some sort of good reason for it, now the motivations behind it came very much alive to me.

Perhaps I should clarify the ‘what’ first though. Tithing is giving 10% of all income back to God. It’s an Old Testament precept (first commanded in Leviticus 27:30) that carries through to New Testament believers, firstly because it is not specifically fulfilled or negated by the coming of Christ (unlike things such as sacrifices, not eating pork, etc), and secondly because Jesus endorsed it (Matthew 23:23).

That’s the ‘what.’ What did I learn about the ‘why?’ Well, quite a few things.

1. The Biblical backing for the ‘why tithe?’ question is answered by what I mentioned above about Christ affirming it and it not being overridden by the NT. That is definitely something I learnt – where it came from Biblically, and why it’s still important now.
2. Probably the biggest ‘why’ I discovered is that it teaches us that 'our' money is not ours but God's. And that's a HUGELY important lesson nowadays, with an increasingly materialistic world surrounding us. Randy consistently reminded me that our money is God's - we are just His temporary managers! We will answer to God for every decision we make. Giving back a tenth of our money to God is one of the best things we can do to remind us of this wonderful and solemn privilege. It just... does something. It reminds us, even subconsciously, that money is not permanently ours. Pushing some money constantly out of our hands it reminds us reminds us that we never had a hold on any of it in the first place and never will. 
3. Promised rewards in this life is another reason to tithe. No, no, tithing does not mean that God will make us rich. It does not mean that suddenly everything will be smooth. Randy was very clear that he was not preaching prosperity gospel. But Malachi 3:10 and 12 does say this: ' "Bring the whole tithe... Test Me in this," says the Lord Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there is not be room enough to store it. Then all nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a delightful land," says the Lord Almighty.' God blesses those who tithe! And blessings come in many forms, not just money, and not just material.
4. For the joy of it! As I can attest to, it is an utter joy to tithe, not a burden! There is such freedom that comes when tithing teaches us that our money is not ours! And I love musing over the wonder that God is using our tithe to bless others more than we can know, and more than we can imagine! Plus just think of the blessing tithing brings upon the remainder of ‘our’ (God’s) money! Tithing is a joy! It can only be a burden if we forget the promises of God and the fact that it’s all His money.
5. Why not? To be honest, I cannot think of a single reason not to tithe (and yes, I’ve tried to think of one!). Most arguments can be refuted by two facts: (1) our money is God's not ours, and (2) He promises to provide for those who honour Him with everything they have, and to bless everything sacrificed to Him.

So that’s what I’ve learnt about tithing. While my practice has remained the same, the heart and head behind it is all the better for knowing why I’m doing it.

What are your thoughts on tithing? Is it important?

Cassie xoxoxo

Yes, hello.

Ug, I know I haven't posted in a while. Now's not a time of post-writing motivation and a million and one thoughts I need to get down, unfortunately. There has been stuff going on... a lot of stuff. Lots of lessons happening, and thing's I'm trying to work out. Contentment (yeh, that's a big one). Intimacy with Christ. Trust. Faithfulness. Quiet times. Friendship. Repentance. Distraction. Contentment (oh, did I say that? :P). And 'outside' too, there's been quite a bit happening. I'm trying to submit scholarship applications (prayers I get them in on time appreciated!!) and apply for a passport and finish a Uni subject and work and keep on top of year 12 and not get distracted by social media and YouTube (I swear that thing can be as awful as Netflix is for other people) and visit my friend in hospital and make time for other friends. I guess I should just sit down one Sunday and spill a few thoughts, even if they're not neat. But anyway, yes I'm still here and I am working out what to write. So, hello again. :) Do feel free to comment with what's been happening in your world, inside or out.

Much love,
Cassie

Blogiversary!

Photo credit: Kevin D and Flickr Creative Commons

Well, today marks 4 years since I started this blog! (And a week or so back marked 6 years since I truly decided to live for God.) 

(To be honest, I feel like I'm going to repeat what I said last year. Oh well. :D)

All glory to God. Seriously, I am so crazy thankful for how far He has brought me, even just in the past year. None of this (*sweeps hand towards myself and my tiny corner of the internet*) happens without Him.

A gazillion thanks to everyone who has walked by me over the past 4 years, 6 years... and, well, my whole life. You are such an encouragement and inspiration to me. Thanks to those who have given my intellect a good workout, been a sounding-board, let me dump my feelings, struggles, and joys on you, offered advice, and/or just encouraged me to keep pursing Christ.

Well, I think I shall also do what I did last year: pick some fave posts from the year past. So here you go (in chronological order). Enjoy!

1. Live Life
2. Dear Future Husband: I don't love you
3. Lonely, But Not Alone
4. I am not sufficient 

Cassie xoxoxo

I am not sufficient

Photo credit: George Samuel and Flickr Creative Commons

This past week has honestly been a hard one. A week of an aching heart and many tears and prayer battles. A weak where I have heard pain upon pain, most of which I have little power to heal.

A dear friend is struggling with her family situation and navigating a relationship.

Another dear friend wants a relationship but is going about it all wrong, and I can't help but read deeper hurt and longings underneath.

And a gorgeous, sweet, amazing young girl I know was hospitalised this week with a severe eating disorder.


The worst thing about it all? I am helpless. I cannot wave a wand and change families. I cannot break the power of a deep psychological and spiritual chain. I cannot force a dependence on God in someone else. That hurts me. My nature is to fix. And sometimes I can. But this week, I have come face to face with the realisation that often, I can't.

I can't.

I am not sufficient.

There are only four things I can do in these situations.

1. Pray my heart out. I can petition the One who can heal, do miracles, change hearts, break chains, to do just that. I can wrestle in prayer.
2. Support. Love, encourage, challenge, speak life, and just be there. Be there when my friend needs to cry. Be there to play games with my friend in hospital. Just be there. I refuse to be a fair-weather friend. With God's power, I will stay and love.
3. Point others to God, not me. Like I said, I am not sufficient. Not nearly. So I am not the answer. God is. I am not the fount of answers. God is. Yes, I can support. I will not pull away when a friend needs to lean on me. But ultimately, the solution is God, not me. That's where I need to be pointing.
4. Lean on God myself. These are burdens beyond my power to carry. But praise Jesus, I need not carry them! My Good Shepard is there, willing to carry me as I support others. He is my strength. Psalm 59:16-17 is my anthem through this season:  

"But I will sing of your strength,
in the morning I will sing of your love;
for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.
You are my strength, I sing praise to you;
you, God, are my fortress, my God on whom I can rely."

I am not sufficient. But God is my strength, my sufficiency, my everything.

And, as my piano teacher said, at least I'm not at a loss for prayer points. :P


Cassie xoxoxo


P.S. If anyone has advice on how to support a friend with an eating disorder, please please please comment, or email me (link in the 'Contact Me' page on the sidebar). 

Fairy Floss

{All credit to Dale Mastin and Flickr Creative Commons}

 Mmm... fairy floss. Floaty, filmy, sticky, sweet. Yum. I do like the occasional fairy floss at  a féte or Exhibition. There is, however, another kind of fairy floss I find myself partaking of much more frequently....

Thought fairy floss.

Ah yes. How often does my mind wander to things that might feel nice, but in reality do me no good? How often do my thoughts linger on that wishy-washy TV show I paused to watch? Or that rubbish song I heard on the radio at the shopping centre? Or (most commonly for me) that special smile with a guy across the room, or the look into his eyes as you talked, or the funny comment he made in an online chat. I think there are a few kinds of fairy floss,  but the one I want to focus on is romantic fluff.

 Now, often these kinds of things we end up thinking about are perfectly normal and innocent in reality. Making eye contact with a guy when you talk is not something to be avoided (it's a way of showing respect). Funny comments naturally bring joy to our days, and a smile across the room is nothing big. Oh, or is it? This is where the problem comes in: not in reality, but in our brains and imaginations. We take some normal part of our day, and we dwell on it. We blow it up, we extrapolate on it, we take it further than it went. We instantly infuse it with way too much meaning, and our imaginations flick to what could have happened. Is that not true, at least for some things?

Don't get me wrong here. I'm not against processing your day.  But I don't think indulging in mental fairy floss, dragging simple reality into the dream world just for pleasure, is a good idea. How is it constructive?  Does it bring glory to God?  Is it not just like fairy floss - nice at the time,  but ultimately not good for us?

Also keep in mind that we can't stop thoughts coming. They come, OK. It's what we do with them that counts. Do we entertain them, or throw them away? Do we lingeringly lick our fairy floss thoughts, or do we dump them in the bin?

Yeh, I guess this is yet another post about guarding your thoughts. But it's important!! Let's make sure we are filling our minds with nutritious thoughts (sweet is still OK though, as long as they build up!) instead of fairy floss fluff. 

Cassie xoxoxo

P.S. If you're wondering about the posts I promised, you have every right to! I'm afraid I've had to put them on hold for a while. I asked for feedback on the first one from a friend, and he gave me some great advice, so I'm going to re-work it. I'm kinda busy at the moment though. I do have holidays next week, but I'm not quite sure how much I'll be able to work on it. So the first one is still quite a few weeks away. I'm really sorry, I probably shouldn't have promised what I wasn't absolutely certain I could deliver! I will have the up as soon as I can, but it will probably be a while. 

Relationship Series

Hey guys! A fellow Rebelutionary teen, the wonderful Nathan Tasker, has done a post series on Relationships, covering things like dating, courtship, marriage, and purity. They are SO GOOD!!! Honestly, I can't praise them enough. I really wanted you guys to be able to read and glean from them, so I though I'd post the links here. Have fun reading them! (And be sure to leave a comment letting him know you enjoyed them!)

Part 1// The Purpose of Marriage

Part 2// Husbands and Wives

Part 3// Let's Talk about Dating

Part 4// The 'How' of Courtship (Personally, I LOVED this post. Getting towards the older end of my teen years, questions about courtship etc become more important. And it was especially cool since my parents and I had been having a talk about a guy going to the girl's dad first, and Nathan offered a really cool perspective on that.)

Part 5// The Heart of the Matter (If you read any post out of the 6, make it this one! I think we can get caught up in the ideal of 'getting ready for marriage' or the idea of 'not being ready for marriage' that we forget what getting ready looks like. And this is what Nathan addresses! Plus it's focus is strongly on 'holistic' purity (all of you, not just physical), which is awesome.)

Part 6// Now What? (A short, sweet, and practical conclusion to the series.)


Go check them out guys!

Cassie xoxoxo

Is that what I really want?

Photo credit: Sam Caplat and Flickr Creative Commons

I want to get married.

Or do I?

Sure, it'd be nice. I'd have tangible love. I'd be treated like a princess. I'd be honoured and served and romanced and loved like crazy. 

But hang on a second. That's not really what marriage is about, is it?

Why do we look at the romance side and neglect the pure hard work it takes? We read the sentence above and love the idea, all the while forgetting that we have to love unconditionally, treat someone specially, honour, serve, and romance our husband! We forget that we have to give too! Good gosh peoples, let's face it - this is gonna be hard work! And I'd venture to say quite a bit harder than if we were single! 

Do I really want that? Do I really want to throw myself into the crazy effort it will be to cultivate a relationship? I'm not saying it's not worth the trouble, but let's be realistic here! 

Is marriage what I really want? It's hard to face that question. I'm not sure I have an answer. I know marriage can be very much worth it. But it's not easy! So I guess we'll just have to wait and see. 

Cassie xoxox

(P.S. No, this is not one of the posts I announced recently. Those are still in the works. I should have one out soon hopefully!)

Info tidbit

Hey guys! Just thought I'd let you know that I've got a full-on blog post series in the works, hence the lack of posts for a week or so. Depending on... a few things, I may post something else before them, we'll see. But look forward to them! I'm very excited. :)


Cassie xoxoxo

Lonely, But Not Alone

Photo credit: Jaume Escofet

I am so lonely.

You wouldn't think it from my email contact list - it's very full. But nevertheless, my heart is aching from the emptiness. I long for intimate friendships, for people who open wide their hearts and take the time to pour into my soul, and let me pour into theirs. Who will make time for me in their life and room for me in their hearts.

And you know what? That's OK. God created us for communion with each other, and so it's only natural for me to feel lonely when deprived of close and constant friendships. It's not some sort of spiritual weakness.

What would be not OK is if I believed the simple, subtle lie that I am awfully tempted to believe in this time: you're alone.

But that is not true. Oh, praise God it isn't! God is here with me, always with me!! And this is what I've come to know deeper during this season of loneliness. There have been many times I've fallen to my knees in joy and worship as the reality of God's nearness and comfort sweeps over me.

You rescued me and I believe

that God is Love and He is all I need,

from this day forward, for all eternity.

I'll never wander on my own, 

for I am Yours until You call me home.

I close my eyes and I can hear You say

"You're not alone."

~ Owl City, You're Not Alone'

I'm not alone. I'm not alone.



Cassie xoxoxo

Why I Don't Have Instagram

Ah, Instagram.

As the title suggests, I don't have it. That doesn't mean I don't use it though. I do look at the pictures of my friends. Some have jokingly protested that I should just get Insta, so it looks less like stalking. Fair enough. *cough* Entirely *cough* false, though. I would *cough* never stalk. *cough cough* :P Anyway, despite the 'pressures,' I do have my reasons for not having Insta. Here they are.

1. I'm distracted enough already. No, I don't have Insta. Or Facebook. Or Twitter. But I have email. And what I 'Christian Facebook' - Revive. And I follow a few dozen blogs. And so on. Honestly, I struggle enough with distractions, and I know me well enough to know that getting Insta would only lead to further distractions. And I consume enough media already without adding something else potentially harmful and unnecessary, at least just yet. 
2. It would encourage my pride and selfishness. First thing I have to say is, this is just about me! I'm NOT commending anyone here. That aside, I am going to say, I think that having Instagram would bolster my pride and selfishness, the very things I struggle daily with. It would... highlight my achievements, my beauty, my skills, my life, my ministry. Sure, I'd caption with the obligatory Bible verses and praise God, but I think deep in my heart it would foster me-centredness. I don't want that. Honestly, I've got enough to worry about without adding to struggles.
3. I don't have an iPhone. This is an entirely practical point. I don't have an smartphone, or even an iPod touch any more. And there's not much insta about downloading pics from my DSLR, editing them, and then posting them from my computer. I'd do that, sure, but if I got it I'd like to be able to actually post things like grainy campfire shots and the crazy sign I saw and my messy desk. Etc.

Gosh, this was meant to be a light-hearted post, and I feel like I've turned it into a school assignment on persuasive writing. :/ Honestly, I'm not trying to persuade anyone. If I do, cool, but I'm also cool with others choosing to use Insta! And I'll probably get it at some point. (Maybe when I travel Europe - jks, I wish. :P) I just don't need it yet. I don't want it yet, and there are reasons behind that. And there let the issue lie for now. :P 

Cassie xoxoxo

How to Compliment the Other Gender

(Above pics from Messy Mondays' videos. I do not claim any credit for these images.)

Hey guys! I had the privilege of writing a blog post for my beautiful friend Lauren, over at Defying Depravity. It's about How to Compliment the Other Gender (who doesn't get frustrated about that sometimes!?) so go check it out! And I'd really encourage you to look around her blog too, she's an awesome writer with a knack of challenging and inspiring in every post. :)

Cassie xoxoxo

Dear Future Husband: I don't love you

Photo credit: martinak15

"Dear darling,

 I don't love you."

That's how I started my latest letter to my future husband. (I hope he has a good shock when he reads it. That would be funny. :P)

It's OK, I'm really not as heartless as this might seem. I clarified that I didn't mean I didn't love him 'now' as in when he reads it, but 'now' as in as I write it. 

You see, I recently read a great blog post. It was a young woman's letter to her future husband. And in it, she professes multiple times that she loves him already. (Which, as you continue to read, please note that I do not wish to discredit this in the slightest.) "Aww," I thought, "that's so sweet an romantic. I should write something like that." 

But something deep inside me squirmed at the idea. And I realised, it's because I cannot say with honesty "I love you now" to my future husband. 

Not if you define love how I define love. To me, love is sacrificial. It's selfless. It's Christ-like. It's humble. It will seek the good of my future husband. And none of that describes me well right now. I'm selfish. I hate sacrifice. I have a long way to go with being Christ-like. I'm ridiculously prideful. Yes, I'm saving myself for my future husband, but if I can't seek the good of my family and friends, what makes me think I'd seek his good continually? Do I love him now? No way.

But I'm getting there. This isn't the end. The story still goes on. I'm learning. Always will be. And God willing, by the time a guy reads those letters, I will be able to say "yes, I love you." 

Cassie xoxoxo

P.S. Yes, I am well aware that God's plan for me might be singleness. I am not taking for granted that I will have a husband. But if I do get married, I think these letters will be very special.